A Good Day (And A Rocking Horse)

Today was a great day! We spent it a friend's house, where the boys played Dungeons and Dragons (yep, those are the kind of men I roll with - the ones that roll play!) and I got to spend time with a new friend and play with a baby. Sometimes the simplest days are really the best. Throw in some pizza and a few episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and really, it's hard to get much better than that!

It is possible though! (We rarely go out without having some kind of wacky event to share by the end of the evening). Today's wacky event involved J and a really sturdy rocking horse (kudos to the maker of that rocking horse, it's indestructible!) When he was taking breaks, J came out a few times to play on it, and how much fun he had while doing so is still making me giggle. So that is just one more reason that I love my man - he can always make me laugh :)

 

Just try to look at that and not smile, it's impossible!

Tomorrow we plan to run errands and do some grocery shopping. I don't think there will be any rocking horses there, but I'm sure we'll find something wacky to do before the day is over! Because that's just how we roll ;)

How NOT To Save Money (But It Sure Was Fun!)

I have been meaning to write this post for almost a YEAR now, but hey, better late than never, right? :)

We met up with a friend for lunch at Oggi's last year shortly before we got married, and as a gift, he said the meal would be on him. Well, none of us could find anything on the actual menu that sounded good, but we agreed that all of the appetizers sounded amazing.

So our friend said, "Let's just order all of them".

Lots of people might say something like that, but Kaz is the kind of crazy, wacky, friend that will actually follow through with statements like those. And so we ordered appetizers for lunch. LOTS of them (not ALL of them, because there were some seafood ones that we didn't like, but with the exception of about five, we got them all).

The waitress really thought we were joking when we placed our order (she also came back later to take our picture). We were the envy of all the other tables around us (the ones that people could sit at, at least! The food wouldn't all fit on our table at once, so we ended up taking over a nearby table, also).

In short, it was AWESOME! There was such a sense of reckless abandon and freedom at our table, and in the end, I think that's what Kaz's gift to us was (I doubt that was his intent, because while Kaz's whimsicality is always fun and entertaining, he's not so much for being serious or deep). The food was great (and he had leftovers to last him and his roommate for days upon days!) but more than that, it was the gift of being told that it was okay to really just let go, enjoy ourselves, and have fun without worrying so much.

It really made me realize that, after all the financial issues we'd been having over the past few years, going out to eat for me had become all about the food itself and the cost-benefit analysis of each bite. I still liked not having to prepare the food, and I always like going on dates with J, but the meal part caused me so much stress simply because it involved money. I don't think I used to be like that, and I don't want to be like that anymore either, but it is a hard habit to break.

Our lunch that afternoon ended up having very little to do with the food (and since Kaz was the ring-leader of the ordering, I didn't feel too guilty about the cost) and so much to do with enjoying ourselves and the afternoon. My dad has perfected that skill to an art form - he sees nothing wrong with ordering two entrees for himself, or two desserts (or both for that matter!) and anyone who's ever gone to dinner with him knows what a wonderfully fun evening that attitude leads to. (For the record, he always takes home leftovers. I don't want the world thinking my dad is hugely obese or something!)

So, while I certainly can't afford to have such extravagant lunches on a regular basis, I think it is important to have those days sometimes where you say, "Heck with it all, let's do something for ourselves!" because life should be about balance. And I'm still not very good at striking that balance, but I am sincerely trying, because what good is a life spent living in fear and worry?

So thank you, Kaz, for showing me that sometimes a lot of money spent on something frivolous is a good way to remind ourselves of what we want from life!

This is Kaz, showing his approval of our spread (notice I can't fit it all into the frame at once!)

** There are more photos of the event, but I cannot for the life of me figure out how to get text and photos formatted (together) into this darned program. So if you really want more pictures, let me know and I'll put together a gallery or something (because I aim to please!) **

How A Belly Kiss Almost Made Me Cry

I was out with a 3 year old client today whose mom recently had a baby. (This is a client who notoriously does not like when any of the therapy team comes out to his home, and has been known to hit people when he wants attention or is mad, so I'm always on my guard). I was standing by his mom and he marched up to her with purpose, so I was all ready to block the incoming arm. Instead, he leaned over, puckered up, and very, very gently, kissed her on her belly. It was adorable. We all said, "awww" and attributed it to the fact that he had started being affectionate with her belly when she was pregnant.

But then, he walked up to me, leaned over, puckered up, and very, very gently kissed me on my belly. And I said to him and his mom, "Aw, that's so sweet, but there's no baby in my tummy!" But I really wished there was. And suddenly I felt very old, and very tired of working everyday (in a very demanding job, I might add!) but not fully enjoying what I do.

Today has been the kind of day that affirms the decisions I've been making lately, and really motivates me to get the whole process moving along quickly (well, as quickly as I can. I'm waiting on some phone calls). But other than that, I'm ready to get on track!

But today has also been the kind of day where I feel that I deserve a glass of wine and a cookie. And so, because I'm not pregnant and therefore I can, that is what I'm going to treat myself to. Tomorrow I'll tackle more of my to do list, but for tonight, I'm done!

Product Review - Hair Straighteners

I've recently learned (the hard way, of course) that with hair straighteners (or flat irons), you get what you pay for. Some things in life you can skimp on and get away with, and some things you really just need to splurge and be done with it.

The BAD
I chopped my hair all off a few months ago (the reasons for which I plan to blog about some other time!) and since my hair is naturally wavy/curly, a flat iron was a necessity. I didn't want to spend much money though, so I bought at Ulta what I thought would be a good cross between price and quality: the Andis Tourmaline Inferno. It was only $25, so I should have known there would be a problem eventually :)

In defense of the product, it worked really well at first - it heated up quickly, got really hot, had really smooth plates with rounded edges, and I liked that you could lock the plates closed (it made it SO MUCH easier to store. Sometimes the simplest things can really rock your world!)

HOWEVER! After about 2 months, the coating on the plates started to peel away. Just a tiny bit on the edges at first, but as it gradually got worse, my hair started snagging on it and so I'd end up with hair all over the counters when I was done getting ready for work in the mornings. No bueno! After three months enough of the plates had eroded that I decided to go with something new.

I give it a 2 out of 5 stars (I'm not going to give it a 1 on the off chance that mine was just defective, but it still ended up pretty badly, so I think 2 is being generous).
 

The GOOD!
I decided this time that it would be worth it to invest in something that would last me a long time (I've used the same curling iron for more than 10 years now, so once I have a styling tool, I don't replace it until it breaks!) Now, anyone who follows these kinds of things knows that the CHI straighteners are the most raved about of all time, but they are REALLY expensive! (Just looking on Amazon I saw one that was over $400!) and I think they usually run for $100 and up in stores.

So when I went to Ulta to get my haircut, I asked my stylist for a recommendation, worried that she was going to try to up-sell me to something ridiculous. And she did, of course, recommend a CHI, BUT it turns out they were having a PHENOMENAL sale on them that day! (I got it almost half off the usual price!) So if anyone needs a new flat iron, head to Ulta NOW! :)

Now, I bought it just yesterday, but I can tell you that after one day of use, I am a very satisfied customer! (To be fair, I thought my old one was good at first too, but I'm pretty sure this time will be different! If it's not, I promise I'll post an update). It heats up SUPER fast and gets SUPER hot (beware of burning your fingers!) It's similar to the one my stylist has used on me before, so I know that it's possible to make my hair straight as a board (I hate the way that looks, but I know it's possible!) and I know from my own use of it that it also does a great job of adding some volume and flipping the ends under. The box says you can curl your hair with it too, though I don't know how (they were having a product demonstration at the store today where I could have learned, but I didn't feel like making the drive again!) The plates are SO smooth that my hair had gone through them and come out the other end all smooth before I realized I'd even pressed the plates together! I did my hair SO fast today that I amazed myself. I do wish that it had the same plate locking feature that the old one had because it and the cord are already all tangled up with the cord of my blow dryer, but I'll find a way around that. 

I have to admit, also, that I've always felt that having a CHI straightener was a kind of status symbol, so I was really excited to join the "cool people" club :) Also, it's so cute! I wanted to post a link to a picture of it but I can't find one that is exactly like mine. (Every place online seems to make up their own names for the same product, and I just got annoyed and quick looking). This one is pretty close though, so just picture it a shimmer-ier color, and there you have it!

I give this one a 4 out of 5 stars, to possibly be upgraded to a 5 if, three months from now, it still has the ceramic coating on the plates ;)

Friday Favorites - Underrated TV Shows

So I thought it would be fun to do a weekly Top (multiple-of-five) of my favorite things, and Fridays seemed like a good day to do it (alliteration is as good a reason as any!) I got the idea when I was thinking about a show I love that I can't share with anyone because nobody watches it, so that's my first topic!

(And I fully realize that by the time this actually POSTS, it probably won't be Friday anymore. But too bad, people, cause this is my world now! And in my world, people have jobs with long hours and don't get home in time to get blogs in a purposeful or timely manner . . . But I'm working on that too!)

So without further ado, here are my . . . .

Top 3 Underrated TV Shows!

*(Top lists are ALWAYS multiples of fives, but I just don't know that many shows!)

 

Psych 

(USA, Wed at 10 pm)

 

This show is hysterical from beginning to end, and the only reason I can come up with for it not being a bigger hit is that it's on USA.
. . .
Wait, now I have a new idea, because I just tried a number of times to write up a basic synopsis of the show's concept, and I failed miserably. So maybe that is also why it hasn't caught on! It's hard to describe!

The bottom line is that Sean, with the help of his best friend Gus, opens a psychic detective agency and works with the Santa Barbara police department. The catch is that Sean isn't psychic, he just has a photographic memory and was raised by a cop who trained him to use that to his advantage. (Even that sentence is woefully inadequate, but it's been a long week, so that is the best you are getting!) The only people who know Sean is a fraud are Gus and his father; everyone else thinks he's legit.

What really makes this show so great, though, is that cast camaraderie. I think the best shows are the ones that convince you that the actors are actually as great of friends in real life as they are on the screen. This is the first show since Friends where I've REALLY believed that they must be having just as much fun doing their job as I have watching them do it. Everyone is SO likable, and absolutely perfectly cast so that you have a great comedic balance without any character seeming overly forced or caricatured. Sean's sense of humor is unique, and his character in particular plays off of everyone else really well. I love that they also include outtakes at the end of every episode, and unless those are staged, they really do seem to be having a fantastic time :)

So even if I wasn't able to accurately capture how really funny the show is, I hope I've at least got the word out there about it, because I don't want it to go off air :) Give it a shot at least and see if you like the humor (I think the website has clips from the show and fun games, too).

Legend of the Seeker 

(Sat at 2 pm, but I can't find what network. Just go with hulu!)

 

This was a show J had looked forward to for a while because he's read all of the books that they're based on, and I was actually mad at him the first time we sat down to watch it (we don't get much time to sit together and watch a show, and when we did, he didn't ask ME what I wanted to watch, just put this show on anyhow! The NERVE! It was one of those kinds of nights). When he put on a second episode, I was a little less mad and a little more intrigued, and by the third episode, I was totally hooked! Now I'm the one asking him if there are any new episodes ready to be watched (which, unfortunately, only gives him more ground to stand on when he tells me that he doesn't need me to tell him what I like because he already knows. It's INFURIATING when someone who always insists that they are right actually is always right). 

In any case, though, this is more of a J kind of show - it's a fantasy/adventure show, though it of course has comedic moments and some romantic tension (any TV show that wants to survive has to have those elements to some extent!). There's action, but it's not overly violent or graphic in any way (it's one of those shows where they are slicing and dicing people with swords, but there's never any blood anywhere! I'm always yelling at the show for that one) which I guess would mean that it could also appeal to queasy people and kids. Even with all those attempts to encompass as many demographics as possible, I still think the fact that it is based off of a series of novels means that there isn't a huge viewer fan-base (nevertheless on a Saturday afternoon, what a bummer of a time slot for them!) but I think people would be surprised at how good the show is if they gave it a chance.

The plot of the show has to do with this quest they are on to save the world and the bad guys they fight along the way (I give FANTASTIC show descriptions, don't I? That one specifically only applies to this TV show, no other movie has ever tried to use "good" versus "evil" as a plot before!) and this is another one where the chemistry between all of the cast members is what really makes it. There actually is a fair amount of emotion in the show, and for being actors I've never heard of before, they're very good. Also, for the sake of honesty, I should mention that the main character (everyone has weird names in this show, so he will now just be called The Main Dude) is really hot - I just need to put that out there right off the bat. Young, but hot ;) That always helps. The leading lady is also beautiful, though (in that kind of gorgeous girl next door way that everyone can agree on without feeling threatened or jealous of) so it's an equal opportunity eye-candy-fest! 

The show is a good one to watch when you just want something light and easy to follow that will let you escape the real world for a while. If you've read the books, you might be upset at some of the episodes they seem to throw in just to kill some time, but from what J has said, it follows the books fairly accurately. Give a few episodes a shot and see if you think I'm crazy for thinking it's great :)

Chuck

 (NBC, Mon at 8 pm)

 

Now, this one is probably the most well-known of the three (I'm pretty sure they did a big-deal 3D ad during a Super Bowl or something) but I still don't know anybody who actually watches the show! And that is such a shame, because it is so funny. This is another one where no matter how hard I try to write a plot synopsis, it's going to sound lame (I had to trick J into getting on board with the show by watching it when he was around but never actually asking him to watch it with me, because I knew if I told him what I'm about to tell you, he'd flat out leave the house. He ended up getting intrigued by the show when I was a few episodes in, so when I went back to show him the first episode, he was annoyed at it but already too invested in the character to leave. Chuck is just so gosh darned likable that J got over his anger towards the portrayal of technology in TV shows, and if J can, you can too!).

So, here is the plot: The CIA and NSA's super secret information is downloaded into Chuck's brain without his knowing it. (See, that is hard to swallow, I know). When he sees something in real life that has some kind of relation to the information in his brain, the information "flashes" and he suddenly recalls all sorts of important stuff. So, the government needs his help, but he just leads the Nerd Herd at the local Buy More (everything about the store and the Nerd Herd is such an obvious reference to Best Buy, it's hysterical!) so they have to send in top secret spy people to go undercover as his girlfriend and co-worker to manage him. 

THAT DOESN'T SOUND FUNNY AT ALL, I KNOW! You just have to trust me that the characters are so genuine and work so well together, and Chuck is just so inept at spy work (there is some great physical comedy, but in the good way! Forced physical comedy is awful, but when it comes naturally, I love it love it love it!) that it ends up being a recipe for success. There is some cool action and spy type stuff, but as I just mentioned, since a computer nerd is involved in it, it usually ends up funny :)

So what I think we've learned from this today is that I'm not very good at giving plot synopses, and I apparently like shows where the characters seem like they get along. (Who knew that was the recipe for getting me hooked on a show? Maybe not the recipe for a successful show, since I don't have anybody to talk about these shows with, but it at least works for me!) Also, I think we've learned that if I have daily themed posts, most people won't get to read them until the next day ;) Oh well, the anticipation is what will keep them coming back for more! And in the meantime, I'm always looking for new shows to watch (though I don't have enough time to watch the shows I currently follow, but you never know what else is out there unless you look for it! ) so feel free to share your personal favorites with me!

Recipe Review - Green Beans With Cheese

I tried this new recipe the night before I made the blog, so I don't have any fun photos or actual websites with the recipes that gave me the inspiration for the dish :( In the future, I will though, I swear it! For now, all I have is a vague recollection of what I did, and what I will do differently next time.

Ingredients
* I don't remember the measurements, but this is one of those things you can probably eyeball.

• Green beans (the frozen ones, not the canned type. A lot of recipes I referenced didn't specify, so you can do whatever you want, but canned green beans really gross me out!)
• Butter (well, margarine really)
• Olive oil
• Rosemary, pepper, salt (sea salt, because I'm just super cool that way)
• Minced garlic (I use the kind in the jar, because who has the time or patience to go mashing up garlic cloves all the time? We go through a lot of garlic!)
• Lemon juice
• Parmesan cheese (the kind that comes in a big shaker bottle, i.e., the cheap kind!)

What I Did
So, I'm no fancy chef, but I do have fun playing in the kitchen (when I get to, anyhow! J prefers to do the cooking, which is fantastic but means that I am a bit rusty these days). What I realized right away, though, was that I am very ignorant about green beans! I've only ever eaten them steamed, and all the recipes I looked at talked about putting the beans in the pan with the oil. I could not for the life of me figure out if that meant I was supposed to throw them in the pan where they would cook, or if I was supposed to cook them first and then put them in the pan . . .   And this was for our Valentines Day dinner (mashed potatoes and filet mignon cooked in a cast iron skillet, I'll have to pay more attention next time J makes it and share how it was done, cause it was AWESOME!) so, the pressure was on!

I decided to cook them briefly in the microwave and then throw them in the pan, where the butter, olive oil, rosemary, and garlic were all simmering. I don't know if it is because of how I cooked them in the microwave or if they just had freezer burn, but some of the beans were really weird. I threw those out before eating them, easy fix :) I stirred those around for about 8 minutes before tasting one, and thought it was really bland. On a whim, I threw in a dash of lemon juice. After another few minutes, I poured it all into a bowl and doused it with parmesan cheese. Then I stirred it up and gave it another good douse. And then again (what can I say, we really love cheese!) Then we ate!

The Results
I have to say, the addition of the lemon juice (which was NOT in any recipe I saw!) was a stroke of brilliance :) The beans were good with all the cheese on them, but every once in a while you'd get a bite of some of the beans that soaked up the lemon juice, and those bites were GREAT! It somehow stopped short of being sour and just gave it a really tangy flavor that meshed well with everything else. I'm not sure how I managed that one, but I really loved it! So next time I'll skip the rosemary (nothing against the herb, it's actually my favorite, but I just couldn't end up tasting it, and it seemed fine without it) and add more lemon juice. J thinks it might end up better if we use fresh beans next time, too.

Reviews
I give it 3.5/5 stars (to be upgraded once I get the amount of lemon juice just right so that ALL the beans have the same level of deliciousness) and am eager to make it again.

J gives it 3/5 stars (his exact answer was, "The beans? Um, I don't know, a 3 maybe? Or a 3.5? I don't know". I think it's important to go with your gut, so I'll say he gave it a 3!) and when asked if I should make it again sometime, he said, "If you want to, babe, then whatever". (You'd never know that he's usually an extremely opinionated guy, particularly when it comes to his food!)


So there is my first recipe review! I'm awfully hungry after writing it up, so I'm going to eat J's food experiment of the day (chicken cooked in homemade hot sauce with an extra coating of a sweet hot sauce) which he has already proclaimed to be a disaster ;) Ahh, the joys of cooking!

BookSneeze Review - The King and Dr. Nick, by George Nichopoulos

BookSneeze  Book Review

The King and Dr. Nick: What Really Happened to Elvis and Me, by Dr. Goerge Nichopoulos

(This book was provided for free by Thomas Nelson). When I chose this book from the website as an afterthought, my expectations were really low. I figured that everyone already knew how Elvis died, and this book was just going to be some rambling by his doctor about what Elvis was like when he was off-stage. As it turned out, though there were anecdotes about Elvis and his personal life, far more of the book was devoted to the medical events leading up to his death and the subsequent controversy over the cause of his death. I didn't even know there WAS a controversy about Elvis' death, but apparently there was a lot of it and the media only played up the parts that it wanted to (those, of course, are the parts I thought I knew).

When reading this book, it is impossible not to draw comparisons between the life and death of Elvis (the king of rock and roll) and Michael Jackson (the king of pop). The intense performances, prior medical conditions the public was unaware of, the unexpected death immediately prior to a major tour, and then the persecution of the doctor after the death. (I was reading this book as plans were being made for Michael Jackson's doctor to turn himself into the police). In fact, this book was published shortly after Micheal died, and there is a brief afterward by the author about the similarities between both artists and the aftermath of their deaths. It was a fascinating book simply because it made me realize how much of what I thought I knew was entirely wrong. The author presents his story very honestly; he admits to any faults he has or wrong-doings he is guilty of, but he also presents the side of the story that the media never did, and he manages to do so without overly placing blame or being accusatory. I was very pleasantly surprised by this book and think that it's message is particularly relevant as Micheal's doctor goes to trial. It was a great read.

Day 1 Update!

So today was a holiday for me, and I had big plans on what I was going to do ;) Of COURSE, I didn't get all of it done, but I was able to get at least one blog goal accomplished, and that was to think about what I wanted to post about (other than my everyday exploits, of course!) Eventually I want to have separate pages for each content category, but until I figure out how to do that, it'll all just be jumbled together within the blog, and people can use the labels/tags to search for items if they want :)

• Book Reviews - I have to write them for BookSneeze anyhow, so that will be a part of this blog (because who doesn't want free books in exchange for a few minutes of work?)
• Recipe Reviews - One of the ways J and I talked about saving money is to cook more and eat pre-made meals less. We're actually already pretty good about that, but J does use some of his "fun" money each week to go to lunch every day. If we make his lunches at home, he can use less "fun" money per week, and we can put those extra few dollars towards something else! That means we'll need to start branching out, recipe wise, since we'll be cooking two meals per day instead of one. So I figure I'll catalog my adventures in new recipes and how they come out!
• Product Reviews (?) - I'm not sure if this one will warrant it's own page, but I think it's something I'll end up talking about anyhow, so I might as well plan to incorporate it! I love gadgets and "stuff," and I like sharing my opinions, so even if it's not a part of a themed blog, I'm sure I'll end up giving my opinions on stuff I buy :)

For now, that's all I have planned. When I get pregnant someday, I'm sure there will be other sections I can add, and the same for when I actually have kids, but right now all I can talk about are the things I'm currently doing: thinking, planning, reading, and cooking ;)

I also spent some time today looking into advertisement and affiliate marketing, so bear (bare? neither of those options looks right!) with me while I work out the kinks and try to figure out how to best utilize my options for the best results while being as least annoying as possible :) Feel free to let me know how I'm doing!

BookSneeze Review - Buried Alive, by Roy Hallums

I joined this website (BookSneeze) that sends you free books in exchange for your posting a review of them. I like free books, so I signed up instantly! I wanted to have a separate page on this blog for all my book reviews, but I haven't figured out how to do that just yet :) So until I find a way to make that work, if you want to find other book reviews from me, I'll tag them all and we'll see that works :) Without further ado, here is my first post!

Buried Alive: Kidnapped and Entombed in the Deserts of Iraq, by Roy Hallum

This book was truly gripping, even before you add in the fact that it is a first person account of an actual event. It's better written than many first-person accounts, but still maintains a very personal feel; you don't get the sense when you read it that the words are coming from another person's mouth. There are many accounts written regarding the US presence in Iraq, and most of them are politically slanted. While this book starts off by giving you a brief history of the political climate in which it is set, it is done with the intent of giving you a context for the events that will follow and not to sway you in one direction or another.

The premise of this book is simple: an average man is kidnapped during a party at his place of work and held prisoner for almost a year (in a prison buried under a home, hence the title) while his kidnappers attempt to negotiate a ransom from the US government (HA! Good luck there). This is not a story of heroics and daring deeds, but rather a story of a man who kept his wits about him enough to make it through each day until help finally arrived (at which point he asked for a burger, whiskey, and cigar while debriefing military officials). His family's account of events are also interspersed throughout the novel (lest we think they sat at home and didn't notice he was gone!) but what sticks with you when this book is over is how powerful the human mind can be, and what can be endured with enough will-power and common sense. It's not a book with a lot of glitz and glamor, but it's not supposed to be – it's a true story of a real event, and real events are not glitzy and glamorous. Real life is dirty and raw and even if it does end up well, it's never tied up neatly with a bow. This book captures all of that and more. I would highly recommend it.

Welcome to the World, New Blog!

So life has been throwing me monkey wrenches for the past few years now, and every time I've thought I was ready to begin my "real life," something got in the way (sound familiar? If you say no, you're lying!) I think people probably spend most of their lives looking towards the next step, but 3 years ago, I was convinced I was THERE :) J and I had been dating for about 9 months, and when I moved in with him I was totally broke (an issue completely unrelated to my moving in with him!) and trying to figure out what I wanted/needed to do to get on my feet and get us on the road to a better life. I decided to quit my job to go back to school so I could get a career I would really love and see a future in (my current job was fine, but I didn't have any desire to stay there long time). Right after I made that major life change, the following happened:

• J lost his job and we ran out of money to pay rent
  
• My brother got sick and was in the hospital, which meant my parents were taking turns traveling so one of them could be with my one brother in the hospital while the other took care of my other brothers at home
  
• We moved back home to help run the house so my parents could focus on my brother's recovery
• After many, many interviews, J finally landed a job (yay!) A 6 month job (boo!) In Arizona (boo!) And it was July and the middle of the biggest heat wave they've had in decades (MAJOR BOO!)
  
• With only what fit in the car and my parents' credit card (tell me that wasn't depressing for two grown adults! I have the best parents in the whole world, though, that's for sure!) we moved to Arizona with a few days notice.
• I went on interviews, and found a job I really really wanted. I didn't hear back from them. I contacted my old place of work because they'd just opened a new office in Phoenix, and agreed to start working for them again starting the next day. That night, I got a call from the job I'd wanted, offering me the position :( Oh well.

And it was an ADVENTURE! (By that I mean that things were really really hard and kind of sucked, but now when I tell stories about how we lived on spaghetti and hot dogs from the dollar store and served in plastic kids' cups from Applebees when our only two bowls were dirty, they sound kind of funny!) So it was rough, and exciting, and we totally got by, thinking the plan was we'd stay for 6 months while J was making good money working for Chase, and then move back home while he did some more interviews after that.

But after 6 months we realized something important - Arizona is CHEAP and California is EXPENSIVE! :) So even though I have never been (and never will be) the primary breadwinner in the family, we made the decision to stay in Arizona and try to live off my salary while J looked for another job. And meanwhile, we had friends to spend time with, and even though I'd never intended to go back to work for the same company again, it had nothing to do with the people or the actual work itself, so I was challenged and found things I enjoyed doing and took pride in doing them well. J got a job working at Best Buy (which he really really enjoyed, but it's certainly a few steps down the ladder from being a computer programmer, mostly pay-wise!) but we still didn't really know what we were doing or where we'd be in the next few months.

And then suddenly, J got a call asking him to come back to Chase for another contract, but this time with the possibility to become a permanent employee! So while I'd told my work I'd be leaving, they let me stay, and J transitioned back to work with the hope this time it would be for good!

(I'm betting you can guess what came next though . . . )

It was not for good! The funding for the position didn't come through, so we would soon be back to living on my salary, and I wasn't happy with my work anymore (again, nothing against the company or my co-workers). I needed the job, but in my heart, I really I didn't want to deal with the issues going on in the office anymore. I was MISERABLE. So I started talking about transferring to another position within the company. There was the possibility of moving to Berkeley, but it didn't pay enough to pay rent in the Bay Area. So I just kept on doing the same job I'd never intended to be doing this long, and J kept going on interviews.

Finally, good news! J got a job back in San Diego, where we had family and friends, and this time it was permanent (no more worrying about where we'd be living in 6 months!) It was a pay-cut to get the job, but it was a JOB and that was what mattered :) And the office I'd started working in originally had room for me on board, so I had a job to off-set the cost of living in Southern California, hooray!

And it's been a year now that we've been back. And it's been great - we have good friends, I get to see my family a lot more often, and you really can't beat San Diego as a beautiful place to live. BUT, I'm still working at a job that doesn't hold a place in my heart, and enough time has gone by now that I don't want to go back to school and start a new career, because I'm very very ready to start a family. And I've always been very sure that I want to be able to raise my kids myself - I don't want to have a baby and send it to childcare for someone else to raise. More than anything else in the world, I want to have my own child, and take care of it myself. And I want it NOW, by golly! ;)

"But we have financial obligations," I'd tell myself, and "we'd never be able to get by without my salary". J said we could make it work, but I do the finances in our household, and I knew we couldn't.

And then this weekend we went to a friend's house for their little boy's 1 year birthday party. And I spent all day with parents and little kids and seeing this whole lifestyle that I know I'm meant for. And I came home and realized for the first time just how terribly unhappy I was with certain aspects of my life, and how upset I was with myself for letting so many years go by just making it from one moment to the next without any plan for how to get from where I was to where I wanted to be. Granted, those first few years of desperation were pretty much unavoidable - we both needed jobs in order to eat, so life goals be damned at that point! :) But at some point, even as more money started coming in and we started getting more and more on our feet, we just kept biding time for some future where we'd be able to afford a family or a house or both.

So when we came home and I said for the umpteenth time that I wanted to have kids, when J said, "it's not like we couldn't do it right now, we could make it work," I looked into it. I got out all my budgeting spreadsheets and broke out the calculator and started doing the math. And it turns out, we could do it right now. It wouldn't be easy. There would be sacrifices and there would be risks (I have no idea if my work will be able to find me a position that would enable me to work from home so I could raise a child) but it could feasibly be done. We could, in fact, make it work.

Which brings us to right now! (Phew, just the retelling of the journey was exhausting!) We haven't made any decisions to start a family, but I'm going to start looking into some of the issues that would affect the decision and we'll take it from there. But no matter what, I'm tired of biding my time and waiting for the perfect moment, because (as so many parents have told me whenever I use that as an excuse) there never is a perfect moment. You just somehow find a way to make it work. And I'm starting to put some faith in that concept. I'm tired of treading water and not striving towards what I want, so I'm going to start making some changes in my life, and I want to document it to share with the world! (Because that is my way, I'm just all about sharing like that!)

I blogged for years and always loved doing it, but fell off the wagon when Facebook updates and tweets became all the rage. But if I'm going to do something like this, I'm going to do it right, and I'm going to let everyone be a part of my endeavor to have faith that I can make things work (hahaha for you, you don't even know what you're in for!) Hence the blog title.

The blog title also has a secondary meaning (I felt pretty proud of myself for coming up with a blog title with TWO meanings as I was falling asleep the other night. We'll see if the pride maintains itself over time, or if it is one of those ideas you later realize only sounded good because you were half asleep!) The biggest obstacle we're trying to overcome right now is financial, so I spend a lot of time thinking about how to save and make more money. In just the same way that J and I look for coupons and good values in order to save a few pennies here and there when we go to the grocery store, I figure, why not look into adding advertisements to my blog? They make it easy to do these days, and while I don't expect to be one of the lucky ones who can live off of nothing but their advertising revenue, every penny counts! :) So, while I'm not looking for a salary, I'm eager to see if I can manage to make any kind of money off of this blog while I'm having fun posting to it anyhow. So see, I'm going to try to make that angle work out for me also! (What do you think, should I be pleased with myself still, or was it just a falling asleep idea?)


Regardless of if I'm brilliant or an idiot, I'm off to a start (even if it's not a good one!) So, welcome to the world, new baby blog! You're young and unformed, and frankly, quite boring (nobody wants to admit it, but new babies are generally not attractive and don't do much of interest) but I love you no matter what already, and can't wait to see where this adventure takes us all :)