Our Puerto Rico Trip - The Quick Version (Well, As Quick As I Can Be!)

So here is the super-condensed version of our belated honemoon/friend's wedding in Puerto Rico! (Imagine what my non-condensed version would be like . . . )

Day 1 - Wednesday (Arrival)

• Our flight was at 8, so we had to leave the house by 6, at the latest. We left right at 6, which was okay but didn't give us much cushion . We get 15 minutes away when J realizes he left his wedding ring in the house. He turns around to get it, and then drives like a crazy maniac to get us to the airport on time. Traffic was light, so we got there right on time, but only had a few minutes to grab a few bites of food before we left for the first leg of the journey.
• We were supposed to have an hour long layover in Dallas, where there had been some crazy storm in the morning (I heard it was hailing, but when we got there, it was sunny and dry out. We think they made the storm up). It backed up all the traffic at the airport, so by the time we actually landed, we had about 10 minutes until our next flight. And as it turned out, the other terminal was so far away it took a train to get there. In a sweaty panic with 1 minute to spare and no idea where the train was, I stopped an employee to ask what would happen if we didn't make it (how many flights to Puerto Rico can there be in one day?) He actually found us a flight that left in 3 hours, and reserved us a spot just in case we needed it. However, so many people were late that they held the plane, so we made the flight. We did not have time to get lunch. (Luckily, they sell lunches on planes now, for about the cost of an arm and a leg. We sacrificed a leg and got a sandwich to share).
• A very nice man moved seats with us on the flight so that J and I could sit by each other. He volunteered to give up his aisle seat for my middle seat (which NOBODY in their right mind would prefer) and I just thought that was such a nice gesture that he should get a whole bullet point to himself ;)
• We landed safely and went to get our luggage. Our friends were outside in the heat and humidity waiting to take us to the hotel (nobody is allowed in the baggage claim area). Our luggage doesn't arrive. We stand in a very long line (there's only one employee - in all fairness, it is about 9 PM on a Wed now) just to find out that our luggage got put on the other flight from Dallas, and since we've already waited so long, it should be there in an hour. We all go across the street (to Buffalo Wild Wings!) to eat, listen to some very bad rock cover group, and then get the luggage.
• Raz and Betsy (the bride and groom) take us to the resort we are staying at, The Rio Mar (don't trust the website, it doesn't really look like that). The resort is nice (well, it's pretty darned late at this point so we can't see much outside, but the interior is okay. Nothing to write home about) but they don't start off too great - we'd made the reservation about 8 months earlier, and they somehow weren't able to get us a room with a king sized bed (nothing says, "let's pretend we're on a real honeymoon this time!" like a room with two queen sized beds! Actually, that is what we had on our wedding night when they messed up our reservation, so I just kept thinking maybe the resort would take care of us the next day) and our room smelled. We never figured out what it smelled like, and you'd get used to it after being in the room for a bit, but every time you'd come back, it'd hit you again. Also, I'm convinced the thermostat was just a decoration - no matter what button you pushed, nothing changed. It was warm in the day and FREEZING in the evening! All in all, it was a room like you'd have in a (broken) Holiday Inn, or any other generic hotel in the US. Not what I thought a "resort" room would look like.

Day 2 - Thursday (Bachelor/Bachelorette Party Day)

• Rain! Lots of it. Not how we thought vacation would start (apparently rain at this time of you is really unusual. Of course it is, what luck!)
• After a leisurely lunch and wandering around the inside of the resort we got dressed up and met with the bride and groom to prepare for shenanigans! The boys went down to where there is a strip of clubs and bars in San Juan and got a hotel room down there for the night. The girls did a lot of getting lost when driving and waiting for people to show up, but then spent most of the night at what is apparently the hottest club in Puerto Rico (at the moment anyhow), where I pondered how short girls liked to wear their skirts and wondered why, if the dance club was so awesome, the dance floor was divided like a junior high dance (with all the boys on one side and the girls on the other. It was the oddest thing I've ever seen a bunch of grown adults do).

Day 3 - Friday (Day Before The Wedding)

• We slept in a bit and then headed off to one of those timeshare presentations, which we'd been assured would be fine to attend even if we didn't intend to purchase anything. WRONG! After an exceptionally long presentation (the girl was new and it took longer than they said it would) we got yelled at by the sales manager for wasting their time when we said we weren't in the market to spend money on anything today but still wanted to know the price of what they were offering. (She said we had to "earn" the right to know, disputed J's claim that when you purchase a car they tell you what the price is, and told us to never attend timeshare presentations because they spent a lot of money on marketing and we were wasting it and using them for the wrong reasons. I wrote the sales manager a bad review and was in a REALLY bad mood for the next few hours. But, we did get a $75 credit for anything we purchased at the resort (which was good, because all the food there was super expensive!)
• We had a rental car in order to drive the groom to the wedding next day, so we decided to go out to dinner for some actual Puerto Rican food (imagine that, wanting to try something other than burgers and fries!) We had some mofongo, which looked weird but tasted good (and I was proud of myself for trying something new!) and then got a call from the groom needing help. He was supposed to stay the night at the resort with his best man, but nobody could give him a ride over. We came to the rescue, and then decided to go on a trial run to find the church so we'd know what time to leave at the next morning. GOOD CALL, because the church was in the middle of nowhere, the directions we were given were originally in Spanish, and since Puerto Rico has few (if any!) street signs, we were supposed to navigate by landmarks (hard to do in the dark). We couldn't find it to save our lives! The bride and her sister had to drive over and lead us to the church, and we wrote our own directions for the next day ;)
• Then we had another set-back - the room the best man had rented had some plumbing issues and his kid was sick, so the groom couldn't stay there. Remember that we had that room with two beds in it . . . ? So the groom stayed the night with us, which wasn't the end of the world, but was made difficult by the fact that both he and J decided to snore in tandem that night, and I had to sleep in sweat pants (I HATE sleeping in pants!) Add to that the fact that the thermostat had an identity crisis and it ended up not turning the AC on all night . . . . I did NOT sleep well! ;)

Day 4 - Saturday (Wedding Day!)

• We all woke up early and I tell you, watching the groom get all primped and ready was one of the cutest things I've ever seen. I have a picture of J and Raz standing at the sink shaving together (using my Raspberry Rain shower gel) that I ADORE, because how often do you see a man get ready for his wedding? There's usually only photos of the bride getting prepared. However, J is in his underpants in the photo, so I figure it's not safe to post online ;)
• Knowing where the church was, we left with enough time to get us there by 8 AM (the wedding was supposed to be at 8:30) when the bride's dad was going to arrive to open up the gates and doors into the church. By 8:20, the only other people waiting outside the gates are the best man and his wife. Long story short, I think this was an example of different cultures having different expectations of timeliness ;) Dad showed up to open the church at 8:30, and up until about 9:15, we were pretty much the only people there. Turned out there was an issue with the hairdresser and a bunch of guests got lost, but the bride and guests arrived and the wedding did take place, it all just started an hour later than anticipated :)
• The reception was a brunch outside under a gazebo - very beautiful, very yummy, very humid ;) How the bride managed it without looking like a wet dog, I'll never know!
• After the reception J and I took a short nap, and then got down to the belated honeymoon part of our trip! I'd been feeling rather resentful at not getting to spend much time with him, so this was really the kick-start of the "us" part of the trip. We walked along the beach and poked at coconuts and shells, got a table at a casual restaurant facing the ocean, and ate hamburgers and sipped rum drinks (oh my gosh, THAT is what a mojito is supposed to taste like?? DELICIOUS!) as the sun went down. Lovely!

Day 5 - Sunday (Sun Day, Literally! Haha!)

• What would a trip to a tropical island be without some time in the sun? The weather was gorgeous, so this was the day to do it! Here's the problem - J is WHITE white white. He skin burns from just the WORD "sun". So we both slathered up from head to toe in SPF 50, clear zinc oxide on the face, and hats. Then we found the shady area of the pool and hung out there. We went in the ocean once, hit a volleyball around in the pool for a little bit, and called it quits after maybe 2 hours. Even after all our precautions, J (of course!) got burned! It was really mild, but what still makes me laugh is that he managed to burn everything except his pecs. It looked like he put his hands over his nipples and laid out in the sun for too long ;) I have no idea how that happened, but I still laugh when I think about it ;) We also had some crazy encounters with iguanas, but I will have a separate, photo-intensive post with more details about that.
• That night we had an expensive dinner at one of the nice restaurants at the resort. It wasn't anything special, but it was romantic and fun :)

Day 6 - Monday (Rainforest Day!)

• The one thing EVERYONE we talked to kept telling us to do while we were in Puerto Rico was go visit El Yunque (which is Spanish, so of course it's pronounced "yoon-kay", though the way the locals say it, it sounds more like, "june-kay". So of course, J and I started calling it "El Junky"). El Yunque is the rainforest that was right next to the resort, and that the area is famous for. We decided to rent a car so that we could see the rainforest that day, and then drive ourselves to the airport the next day (instead of paying $37.50/person for a shuttle ride there, what a rip-off!) 
• Everyone had continually told us how close the rainforest was to our resort, so we just headed out to the main road and thought we'd see signs telling us how to get there. Well, between the few number of street signs we'd seen, the tiny map of the area we had, and Google maps on my phone, we managed to figure out a very round-about way to get to the middle of the rainforest. We drove and drove and drove and ended up at . . . . a dead end! We drove all the way up the back of the mountain only to find that the small road we were counting on was closed. So, we backtracked all the way back to the resort, still confused as to how to GET onto the great bit mountain that we could clearly see no matter where we went!
• At the street leading back to the resort, we finally saw a sign for El Yunque. Apparently, the entrance to the rain forest is across the main street from the resort (of course the only sign we ever saw was from the main road as we were driving, why would they want to make it easy for tourists at the resort to find the biggest tourist area on the island??)
• Our adventures at El Yunque were probably the highlight of our trip (for me, anyhow) but those stories will also follow (eventually!) in a more photo-intensive post.
• We were super sweaty when we finished, so we went back to the resort, showered, and headed out for our last dinner on the island. We ended up at a shopping mall, ate Chinese food in the food court, and went to see a movie (it was only $5.75, another highlight of our trip as far as I'm concerned!)

Day 7 - Tuesday (Going Home)

• Our flight wasn't until the afternoon, so we checked out in the morning (and saw how much money they charged us each day in "resort fees". What a rip-off! We didn't ever look at the free newspapers or use the lounge chairs or cabanas by the pool, we stayed in our rooms when we weren't eating in their restaurants, and we had to pay for that separately!) got in the car, and headed off downtown!
• We met up with Raz and Betsy for lunch and ended up getting a parking ticket because we parked in the Burger King parking lot but didn't eat there (though in our own defense, we had PLANNED to eat there but then got side tracked by a pizza place. And how do they know we didn't eat there anyhow? Did they go inside and ask around? And who makes parking tickets without any English instructions on them, if it's such a tourist area? There isn't any address listed, so I can't pay the darned thing, even if I wanted to!) then dropped off the rental car, got onto our flight, made all of our connecting flights, and got home really late at night, but totally safe and sound :)

SO, there you have it, that was our trip! If you actually read this whole thing, boy are you a trooper :) I have lots of follow up posts to write (which will have all of the humorous moments, I think!) but now at least you don't have to wonder what we did while we were there ;)

I Don't Understand Weddings

I don't understand weddings.

Well okay, I get the concept of marriage, and therefore the pomp and circumstance that goes along with it. I've done that, I get that.

What I don't get are all of the "traditional" components of a wedding that don't seem to have a purpose other than costing a lot of money. What, really, are the point of party favors? Do any wedding guests really save those candles or bubbles to reminisce over in the future? As much as I enjoy the purpose of a wedding, the whole thing always looks to me like a giant barter - you buy me presents, and in exchange, I'll buy you dinner and drinks. (Which is why for my wedding, we cut out the middle man - let's just all bring something for dinner and call it even). I can't imagine how much it must cost to throw a traditional wedding.

My main issue, though, is that attending a wedding is an expensive affair. I admit to there being times where I've really wanted to attend the special event, but it was just too cost prohibitive. Most of the time there is travel involved (which means paying for the drive, airfare, and/or hotel accommodations), finding something appropriate to wear to the event (and buying something, if you happen to be, like me, short on clothing), and of course, presents.

Buying presents is where you really start to lose me. If you are moving out of your parents home and starting off with nothing to your name, I totally understand the need to register for gifts. However, these days most people have been living on their own (and maybe even living together), so registering for gifts sometimes just seems like an excuse to ask people to buy you things you can't afford. I don't have much money, and I very rarely buy anything for myself. But you really can't go to a wedding and NOT bring a gift, so I at least try to pick the most functional thing off of the gift registry. Everyone needs things to cook with and eat off of, so I can justify that. But do you really need 18 place settings that you'll probably only use once or twice a year? If I can't seem to justify buying myself a tee-shirt from Target (the ones I wear the most are hand-me-downs from my sisters or ones I bought at a flea market three years ago) why should I have to buy you a sculpture or camping gear? How about you buy your own camping gear, and I'll make sure I don't show up to your party naked ;)

I have a number of weddings this summer, and I want to attend all of the parties for all of the couples because they are people that I care about and want to share this joyous moment of their lives with. But with the changes we are making to our budget in order to save up for a child, I simply cannot afford three separate trips out of town for bridal showers, three separate gifts for each of the bridal showers, and money for dinner/drinks/shenanigans for any bachelorette parties that are planned (and BOY do those parties usually end up expensive!) in ADDITION to the cost involved of attending the wedding and buying presents for that event as well. I just can't do it, and if I can't go, I look like I don't care. And I do care. I just don't care for spending that much money when I could be saving for a baby (I like babies more than I like giving people expensive stuff).

And so here is where I need some advice, because I'm too jaded and ignorant to know what the proper wedding gift etiquette is.

If you are invited to a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, and a wedding, do you buy gifts for all of those events, or is one gift enough?

Help me please, because I want to attend everything, but I don't want to show up empty handed and break any of the unwritten rules that I am completely unaware of. Is it okay to attend a wedding on a budget and only provide one gift, or do rules dictate I not attend the parties if I can't participate in the gift exchange as well?

Medical Professionals, Give Me Some Credit!

Before I say anything else, I just want to say that I have the utmost respect for medical professionals. I have a lot of family who work in the field, I've worked with some amazing people, and I still plan to go back to nursing school eventually (I'll be that old lady in your class making references and analogies between the homework assignment and some random story about my kids. Look for me there!)

BUT! As someone who's seen plenty of doctors during the course of my life, spanning a number of different disciplines (both for myself and for my siblings), I can tell you that for everyone one person you find that's really really great, you find ten that are worthless. (My particular pet peeve are pediatric personnel who act like they've never dealt with a child before in their lives, namely because I'm sure I could do what they are doing better than they are with only the minimal training I have).

What bothers me most overall, though, are the doctors/nurses/PA's/NP's/etc. who treat me like I don't know what I'm talking about. And when I say that, I don't mean that I'm trying to dispense medical knowledge. I mean that if I tell you something is wrong with my body, I expect you to take me seriously. I'm a big advocate for knowing your body and your limits, and I'm pretty good at knowing when something needs attention.

In their defense, I'm sure being a nurse or a doctor you see thousands of people who are absolutely imbecilic when it comes to dealing with their own health. I don't doubt that you end up cynical about the intelligence of your average patient. I've had my share of false alarms too, but at the very least, if my "cold" that won't go away after four weeks turns out just to be allergies, I can learn something from that, which means that my trip to urgent care wasn't a complete waste of either your or my time. I'll know for the future how to avoid it and won't be coming back again soon. (During that particular trip I got one of the best pieces of medical advice that I can't believe nobody had told me about earlier - the benefits of regularly using a sinus rinse. Doing so has changed my life, and now my sister's, since somebody else finally took my advice and gave it a try! I owe that PA, whose name I don't remember.) Please don't dismiss me immediately without listening to my story, because I may just be one of the few patients with something real to say. The majority of the time, my complaints are warranted and have at least some basis in reality. So please, try to treat all patients like they are worthy of listening to, on the off chance that they know what they are talking about.

Also, please don't dismiss what I say based solely upon your previous experiences. You may honestly have never had a patient who reacted negatively to a generic version of a medication, but that doesn't mean that it hasn't ever happened (all it takes is a quick internet search to find out that it has, because that many people sharing the same story can't be a fluke) or that it isn't currently happening to me. If I tell you that I have already tried to switch from a name brand to a generic and had truly AWFUL results, I need you to trust me, because I have no reason to lie. (I've been broke for years, trust me, nobody wants a generic brand drug more than me!) If you REALLY are insistent that I try the generic again, and I agree but say that I plan on calling for a new prescription if it doesn't work, then take my call when I try to tell you it isn't working! Don't string me along for a week, having various nurses leave me voicemails with ridiculous and conflicting advice, before I have to take more time off of work to come in and tell you in person what I told you the first time - it didn't work. My health is important to me, and with as much trust as I put into the hands of anyone who is taking care of me, I expect some level of trust in return, particularly when it comes to what I tell you of my own experiences. You can't confirm or deny what I am going through, and while I'm sure you have to look out for drug-seeking or other manipulative people, please try to trust me when I tell you how I am being affected by your decisions.

And finally, please don't put the cart before the horse - run your tests first and THEN give me your medical diagnosis! I went this morning for a throat culture because I thought I had strep throat. Again, the nurse didn't know me and I didn't know her, so she had no reason to trust my instincts except for the fact that the respectful thing to do would be at least to listen to them and take them into account. I told her my symptoms and she looked in my throat. She said she saw no signs of strep, but she (rather reluctantly) said she'd do the rapid test anyhow. I told her again that I rarely show the classic white spots on the back of my throat but that during the course of my career working with small children, I've had enough head colds and strep throat to know the difference. While the test is running, she is telling me to drink lots of fluids, take Advil, and use throat lozenges (DUH!) She gave me all the paperwork to send me packing and sent me to the waiting room to, well, wait :) After a few minutes, she brings me back into the room and says, "Did you say you'd had strep before?" Apparently, the test results looked like they were coming back positive, so she wanted to do it again to double check. Hey, I am all for thoroughness, but this was clearly being thorough because she didn't think it could be true. Well guess what, ladies and gentlemen? THE SECOND TEST CAME BACK POSITIVE! She was really shocked. I felt vindicated, but mostly really really awful (because, if you'll recall, I had strep throat, and that is miserable).

So I got my antibiotics and got in the car feeling, as mentioned, vindicated and yucky, but mostly I just felt angry. Because while most of the medical professionals I've ever dealt with were very sweet and well-meaning, the reason I ended up persevering in all those cases is because I know my body and I know enough about common illnesses and medical protocol (from my past experiences, I'm not claiming to have a medical degree) to know when to stand up and be assertive. So I'm upset on behalf of all the people who don't know enough about what they're being told to know when to object, or who don't know their bodies well-enough to trust those instincts that tell you when something is really wrong.

So to all of those doctors, nurses, pharmacists, physician's assistants, nurse practitioners, x-ray technicians, and everyone else that I can't remember to name who take the time to really talk and listen to their patients, and take what they have to say into account, I salute you. You have an incredibly difficult and important job, and you have managed to find a way to be the exception to the rule. You are my heroes, and I really aspire one day to be among your ranks. But to all of you who are going into any situation as a patient, I urge you to go in prepared to ask questions, be honest, and stand up for yourself and your own health.

In the meantime, my Advil is wearing off and it's getting hard to swallow, so I'm going to return to my "sick" spot on the couch next to J (who was also home sick today - don't come visit us, we're toxic!) and take some more medicine. Because right now I am listening very closely to my body, and it's telling me to go do that, so I will. What's that you say, body? I should also eat a cookie while I'm at it? I guess I'd better take that advice while I'm at it :)

Color Blindness is HYSTERICAL!

J is red/green colorblind, which isn't all that uncommon (our friend says he is red/green/purple colorblind, and THAT one I don't understand. But hey, I'll go along with it!) And for the most part, it doesn't affect his living in any way.

What it DOES affect is how I describe things to him, because I can never seem to remember that he doesn't see those colors. I cannot tell you HOW many times he's asked me something along the lines of, "Which one is it?" and I say, "The green one". "Which one?" "The green one, the one right there, RIGHT THERE! What, can you not SEE green . . . oh. Oops". (That particular example was from a monster truck rally. We are just THAT exciting of a couple!) Those moments when I realize that he legitimately can't see red or green always make me giggle.

What REALLY makes me laugh, though, is when he's honestly trying to see red and green, and just can't. For instance, there is this shirt I love (WARNING: THERE ARE NAUGHTY WORDS IN IT!) that has a sentence printed in red on a green background (if anyone has seen those colorblindness tests with all the tiny blobs of colors, that is what it looks like). And the reason I love it is that I can so clearly see what is written, and J just CANNOT see it! He sits there at his computer - standing up, then sitting down, then getting up close, then tilting his head to the side, then asking me to point out where the words are, or what it says again, and then eventually he just gives up. And just watching him trying to figure out what is clearly written on the screen drives me to hysterics! I would wear that shirt 24/7 if they took the bad words out of it, just because every time I'd look down at it, I'd laugh picturing J trying to read it. (And I realize that probably doesn't SOUND very funny, so maybe someday I'll hook up a nanny-cam and try to catch it on video so everyone can see that it really is hysterical! I think if I just tried to record it, it wouldn't end up being a very natural performance, and that would kill the essence of what makes it so funny!)

So maybe laughing at colorblind people trying to see colors isn't a very nice thing to do, but in my own defense, he is my husband (so I think I'm allowed some allowance when making fun of him!) and as far as disabilities go, it's probably one of the most minor ones. If I'm going to laugh at someone, I'll feel free to indulge when it's my husband and it's because he can't see the words on a t-shirt that I will someday buy just to wear around the house ;) Or maybe you should buy it and wear it over to our house sometime - I'd love to see if he'd recognize the shirt or just think you're wearing a giant gray circle on your chest :)

Crazy Shortest Book Review Ever - The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins

So here's the review - The Giver (what I remember of it anyhow) meets Twilight, plus some crazy gladiator action mixed in. (They sure do make intense young adult books these days!) All I can say is that I started it yesterday, finished it tonight, and immediately ran to J and started kissing him while spouting random phrases about how much I love him and how I don't want us to have to kill each other and how I don't want to have to kill people and live without him (I don't think any of that was nearly as emotionally charged or romantic for him as it was for me).

So buy the book (and hey, use my affiliate link and help me make a few extra bucks!), read the book, and then come talk to me about it because it's that good (oh boy, the pressure is really on for you to like it now!)

I'll start the sequel to it, Catching Fire, tomorrow, so you can probably expect another random review shortly thereafter ;) Once I finish that, though, I have until August until the next book comes out. Any suggestions for crazy books that you just can't put down once you get them started? I'll need something to tide me over until then :)

Progressive - Can You Do Dental, Also?

I went to the dentist today, and (as always!) they found more issues with my teeth that really need to be fixed (and before people start saying that my dentist is just trying to rip me off, I'd like to say that the dentist I had a few months ago had pointed out the same issues, so I think it's legit. Also, I can see it, and it hurts. So I'm not concerned that my dentist is making stuff up).

But also (of course!) the work that needs to be done is more preventative than anything else, so insurance doesn't cover it. (Personally, I think that if it's needed in order to avoid a future root canal, that should be covered!) I'd had to budget for the work I was there for today, and therefore didn't have the money to get the additional work done right away. Instead, I asked them to give me a printout of the price quote so I could start saving and then know when to call back and make an appointment. (They acted like I'd made a strange request, does nobody else have this issue? Are we the only couple that doesn't have a separate dental savings account?)

So here is my beef with dental insurance - when you sign up and look at what the insurance will cover, the numbers look pretty good. But when it comes time to actually see how much something will cost, it's always way more! Either the materials the insurance will cover aren't the best (though trust me, spring for the better resin/composite fillings and avoid all the hundreds of dollars of work I'm currently having done to replace my old alloy ones after they've cracked my teeth) or you have to pay for extra work in order to get the covered work done, or they find a way to claim that the work isn't necessary and therefore won't be covered.

Now, I have no idea how dental pricing works - is it like going to the grocery store, where (for the most part) prices for similar items will be relatively comparable, or like getting work done on your car or house, where you'd better get a bunch of quotes because they'll probably vary by a lot? I don't have time to visit multiple dentists for price quotes, so I'm stuck with what this one dentist tells me is the price to save my teeth from ultimate destruction ;)

So, Progressive? You know how you do those car insurance commercials where you compare how much other insurance providers cost? Would you mind doing that for dental work so that I know if I'm being ripped off? I'd probably even be willing to pay a small fee in exchange for knowing who offers the best rates for the work I need done.

I think it's a brilliant idea. So someone out there, start compiling a list of common dental services and how much different dentists charge for the work. In the meantime, I'm off to find things to take to the recycling center so that I can start saving up for my next visit!

Puerto Rico, you CAN know the island!

So after my post last night when I was upset, even though J thinks pictures are stupid, he spent a bunch of time using different programs to try to recover my photos. And this morning, he did it! Or sort of, at least. Some of them are corrupted, but I at least have SOMETHING to work with now! So, my super exciting posts will be made into a reality, but not right now, because I have to go to work :)

Keep your eyes peeled!

Puerto Rico, you know the island . . . .

La de dah de dah de . . . . (Those are the only words from the West Side Story song that I know, sorry!)

So J and I just got back from a week in Puerto Rico, and let me tell you, I had some FANTASTIC posts planned. Do you want to see some iguanas get into a fight over territory underneath a lounge chair? I got it! You want to see what J and I look like after climbing around in the rain forest? Right here! You want to see what J and Raz look like as they stand side by side in front of the bathroom mirror and shave using my raspberry shaving gel? (I've never seen men prep for a wedding before, it was cute). Well, look no further!

OH WAIT, YOU CAN'T SEE ANY OF THOSE! (And neither can I, for that matter, so don't be offended). APPARENTLY our external storage device hates me and my photos, and while the first folder of photos I lost a few months ago was attributed to my being an idiot somehow, nobody can convince me that I did anything wrong yesterday when I moved the pictures from our trip off of my camera and into a new folder on the device.

So now I have some cute picture frames but the rare photos I had gotten of J and I both looking decent and NORMAL (J doesn't like to have his picture taken, so any photo with him in it is always entertaining, but never what you'd call a "good" picture) are gone.


ARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!


I'm super frustrated and sad, but part of that is just because I had specific plans for all those photos. Once I readjust to not having them I'll be fine, but for now, suffice to say that this is NOT what I had planned for my trip summary :(

Pinching Pennies vs. Little Luxuries - The Epic Throwdown!

So obviously a lot of what we're focused on these days has to do with money - where it's gone, where it is going now, where it will be headed next, and all those other petty, boring details. And obviously, we're very invested (haha, money pun!) in using our money wisely. However, this leads (as it always does) to the age old question:

How do we save as much money as possible while making sure that we don't end up depriving ourselves to the point of ending up in the insane asylum? At what point does it shift from being wise financial planning to sacrificing the quality of life we have in the here and now?

We've done this dance before (though usually out of necessity. If you have no money in the bank, you don't have the option to treat yourself to anything!) and as I've already admitted, I'm still working on finding the balance between the two extremes. But I think it's really important to acknowledge that what you really need to do is find the balance that works for you.


Pinching Pennies - Sustainability
I read on someone else's blog a while back (and I can't remember whose it was! Eeek! Someone email me if you find the article so I can give credit where it is due!) that being frugal isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. And I think that's brilliant. It's like dieting - sure, you can do some crazy diet where you nothing but water and one kind of fruit for two weeks (I just made that up, but it sounds like something that people would do, right?) and yeah, you'd lose a few pounds initially, but where does that get you? You'll end up craving something else so insanely that before you know it'll, you'll go bonkers and eat everything in your kitchen, and end up gaining it all back PLUS some extra (just to teach you a lesson!) Saving pennies by cutting down on everything we do or buy might help in the short term, but eventually, it's bound to backfire.

Bottom line: You have to view this kind of lifestyle change realistically, which means that you need to set goals that are reasonable for you. A lot of people who blog about being frugal have made some very drastic changes to their lives, and I applaud them, but those aren't things that would work for J and I. If you can't commit to it long-term, then quit kidding yourself.


Little Luxuries - What Makes Life Worth Living
What I haven't read much about on anybody's blog is how to be frugal while still remembering to treat yourself well and indulge (though sparingly) on the little things that are important to you. I don't mind making my lunch each day, but I tend to spend more money than J on things like hair products and makeup (which certainly doesn't mean I spend much, it just means that J spends almost nothing on those things!) Being able to go out to lunch with his coworkers is important to J, though, and he doesn't care to spend money on foundation and mascara ;) So in those respects, we have opposite luxuries that we certainly could cut out of our budget entirely (there are times that we have done so, and it would be easy enough to do again, if it became absolutely necessary) but if you cut out all of your little luxuries, then what is the point of your life each day?

Any time we end up identifying something that we really don't want to cut out of our lives (which we usually do on accident and after the fact!) the question is then simply an issue of how to cut down the cost as much as possible. Except for a few things that I refuse to scrimp on (because a lot of times, you do get what you pay for! That's just one more balancing act to try to figure out) I buy super cheap makeup and hair products, and J goes to pretty cheap places for lunch (he might also be phasing out some of his lunches each week, but that is a different post!)

This also ties into my above point about sustainability, because if you cut out EVERYTHING in your day to day life that wasn't 100% necessary, trust me, at some point you'd have a mental break and go on a spending rampage :) Then you're miserable (because that's what led to the mental break in the first place), you just spent the money you were supposed to be saving, and now you probably feel really guilty, also.

Bottom Line: Everybody has those little treats that makes themselves feel special and happy (J enjoys Baskin-Robbins ice cream, I enjoy a bottle of shampoo or a new thing to make the toilet water blue!) and if you can find a way to keep it reasonable, isn't it better just to budget yourself a little bit of "fun money" to play with, rather than waiting until you feel so bitter and angry at your budget that you throw it out the window?



The Balancing Act
So we're still working on finding the happy medium between those two extremes :) We're doing a lot of experimenting right now on a number of fronts (food and personal care, in particular!) which I've been photographing, so I have some fun future posts planned out ;) Keep your eyes peeled for those (because they're bound to be entertaining!) and if you have any suggestions for ways to cut costs without cutting out everything, I'd love to hear them!


* Update 3/20/10 *
Apparently, I started a trend in the discussion of this topic! Here are some other great posts on the same topic.
 The Balance Between Splurger and Miser 
The Balanced Money Formula

Recipe Update - Green Beans With Cheese (Take 2)

So tonight was my second attempt at making the green beans with cheese, and let's just say that it is still a work in progress ;) (Click here for the first chapter in this story).


What I Did Differently
This time I decided to be fancy, and for the first time in my life I bought REAL green beans! There is this little place near us that's a cross between a farmers market and a grocery store, and they sell some WEIRD stuff there, but their produce is super cheap and really great. So, I walked in, shoveled a bunch into a bag (J asked me if I got enough, and I said, "I don't know, I don't even know how much this is going to end up looking like when it's cooked. Do they shrink?") and then put them in the fridge for the week (if that's not how you're supposed to keep green beans, somebody let me know. I'm helpless!)

Then I realized that I had no idea what to do to prepare real green beans! Do you have to snap them in two? (They're always doing that in movies, but are those peas, or just special green beans that you have to open to get the peas out of?) Do you cut them up? Do you have to cook them longer? I felt like an idiot.

But then I realized, "Well, I might be an idiot, but I'm an idiot with a friend who knows a thing or two about cooking!" So I emailed my old friend Becky, because not only is she a great friend, but she's a super fancy chef person now :) And she gave me great advice about how to make beans!

Except that she gave me great advice on how to make beans depending on how I like my beans to be cooked. Do you remember that scene in "Runaway Bride" where she realizes she doesn't know how she likes her eggs cooked? That was me with green beans. In fact, I didn't even understand what the terms she used meant! But that's why the kitchen is a school in and of itself.

Becky said that if I like my beans al dente, I should just toss them right into the pan with the olive oil and garlic in it until they looked green and yummy (and I'd like to say right now that while I had a vague idea of what al dente meant, since I had only ever had one kind of firmness of green bean, I didn't have anything to compare them against! Maybe the way I had them was as firm as they get, or as mushy as they get! I've never felt like such an ignoramus about anything, particularly as simple as a tiny vegetable!) So I went with that cooking method though, because it was as good a place to start as any, and I used more lemon juice this time like I said I would (I put it in right at the beginning of the cooking process too, instead of right before it was done) and we grated some fresh parmesan instead of using the kind in a shaker :)


The Results
Well, it turns out that I don't like my beans al dente! :) I had no idea green beans could be so crunchy. SO, next time I do it (and I'm going to keep doing it until I perfect it!) I'm going to do like Becky said I should if I want them softer and blanch them (another new word for me! I'll take the time to explain it when I actually do it, next time. Or maybe all of you are smarter than I am and know what that means, in which case, aren't you super cool!)

It also ended up having LESS of a lemon tang this time, even though I'm pretty sure I used a lot more lemon juice. So next time, I'm going to put it in at the end of the cooking process again and see if that makes a difference.

And finally (and surprisingly!) I don't think the fresh parmesan was as good! (I know, I'm super shocked, myself). We grated it up to a powder, but the powder ended up melting and clumping together, so you had to scoop up some cheese and then stab the beans, and it was just annoying. Maybe it's because the cheap kind in a can has more preservatives or something else bad for you in it, but it didn't clump as much and so it spread over the beans more evenly. Whatever it was, I'll save the fancy cheese for something else and go back to the cheaper kind next time :)


Reviews
I give it a 3/5 stars (which is down .5 stars from last time) but hey, it's a work in progress! Next time I hope to get the right consistency of bean with more lemon flavor and cheese that doesn't end up in the bottom of the mixing bowl.

J gave the beans a 2/5 stars this time (down from a whole star from last time!) and said, "eh, they weren't that good". (But I'm sure he also meant that he sure does love my dedication and willingness to experiment in the kitchen, and can't wait until I make them again!) When asked what I should do differently next time, he said less lemon juice and olive oil (hmmm, we might end up with a difference of opinions when I head to the kitchen next time . . . oh well, she who POURS the liquids decides how much goes in!)



All in all, though, green beans have very little flavor, and as far as I'm concerned, you can't have too much cheese, salt, or olive oil, so even if it wasn't very good, it was still pretty edible ;) I'll keep you posted on my endeavors!

How Much Stuff Is Too Much Stuff?

I love stuff. I love random gadgets and electronic toys, I love books, I love candles and picture frames and random little things that you put on ledges because they're too cute to hide but you can't seem to find a real PLACE in the house where they specifically belong.

As many of you know, three years ago I had to move suddenly and took with me a (really big) suitcase, a computer, and not much else (everything else went into a storage unit). After about a year, we ran out of money to pay for the unit and didn't have the money (or space) to move all of our stuff to our current apartment. So, we got rid of all of it.

As someone who loves stuff, that was a painful decision for me! I still miss my light switches/dimmers with the remote control (so that I could set the level of lighting I wanted without ever having to leave the bed, that was my favorite gadget of all time! If I could steal one thing back from that storage unit, that would be it. Anybody know where I could buy a new one?) I miss the bookcase my dad bought and painted for me when I was 5, the desk J bought for me when I quit work to move in with him and go back to school, and I miss all the purses and shoes and random things I can't even remember at this point. And even this many years later, I admit that just thinking about all of those things makes me kind of weepy and nostalgic because I still want all my stuff back.

But when we actually got rid of it, nothing in our life changed (well, it even got better, because we didn't have that expense anymore!) We bought the things we NEEDED when we moved (some non-plastic kitchen-ware, a mattress, a table to put our computers on) and over time, we've replaced some of that original stuff (as of a month and a half ago, we have a COUCH! And a CHAIR that I can sit on when we have company, instead of sitting on the floor! It's like being civilized again!) But was my life any worse without my cute lamps? Of course not. I still missed them, but unless I thought about them specifically, there was never any point during my day when I thought, "Darn! If only I had that super cute little lamp right now, things would be so much better!"

So obviously, I am not one to preach minimalism, because I really just love things too much to try to deny it ;) But at some point it's interesting to ask yourself, "How much stuff is too much stuff?" For this guy, the answer is that pretty much all of his stuff is too much stuff ;) I'm not going to go that far, but I do recommend the "moving test" (that I just made up right now, but is really too brilliant to keep to myself).

This is the test:

You have two days to move out of your home and into another home (it could be a similar sized home, or a bigger or smaller one, that part isn't important). The catch is that you have to do the moving yourself. Well, in real life your friends and family probably wouldn't let you shoulder that kind of burden (hahaha, literally and figuratively! I'm so clever sometimes) alone. So let's say that you can have one person help you. (Now, as someone who has moved a LOT, I'd like to take a moment to remind you that even if that one friend is really big and burly, it is horribly time consuming and emotionally draining to set up boxes, pack them, tape them, move them to a vehicle, take them out of a vehicle, unpack them, break down the boxes, and put everything away.) At the end of the first day, when you realize that you won't be able to finish moving everything in the time you have left, what do you get rid of?

I think the most "spring cleaning" I've ever done is in the middle of a move, because at some point I end up getting so mad at my stuff that I just start chucking it in the trash ;)  And that's why this is such a great test (though admittedly, once I wish I didn't seem to keep doing annually!) The things that REALLY matter to you (wedding photos, favorite clothing items, your blankie your grandma made you when you were a baby) will make it through all of those moves. The rest of the stuff that you've collected along the way without meaning to (old tee-shirts you don't wear anymore, batteries that may or may not be dead, mostly empty bottle of lotion) are suddenly, very obviously, not worth keeping around. It's just not worth the effort it would take to move them. And if it's not worth the effort, why on earth do you still have it lying around, anyhow?

So, while I would like to not have to put myself through that test again for at LEAST another 6 months (or a year, that would be nice!) I think it's helpful to keep in mind when contemplating a purchase. "Do I want this lamp so badly that I'd go through the hassle to move it across the state, if I had to?" And if the answer is "no", then save yourself the hassle (and the money!) and move on to lunch, because that is a purchase that you can enjoy without having to worry about packing and moving 6 months from now :)